dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
