once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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