And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
