either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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