i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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