i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
