Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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