you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You left your underwear on the fireplace
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
