It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
