from now on my penis is your penis
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
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It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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