Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
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She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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