come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
