I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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