Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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