Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
True college students do jello shots in the library
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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