The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
