I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
