I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i looked up. we had an audience...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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