I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
so much tequila, so little girl.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
