Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
