We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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