People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
