I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
