we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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