1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
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i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
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We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk