the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.