Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.