You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling