I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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