I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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