i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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