Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He shit in the fireplace
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
