Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I am available for nakedness
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
