So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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