theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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