peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
