I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
