Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It's never too late to be topless.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
