Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
