Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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