i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
