How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
