i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Never joke about your clitoris.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
