my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
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