Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
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Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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