She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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