are you so shy because you have an std?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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