Christians are straight up FREAKS
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
