just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
