We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
