So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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