I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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