I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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