Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
