So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
