This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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