I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
