im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
