i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I don't think brook has ever known best
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i believe in u and ur pee
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
