I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
