No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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