I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
