it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
