He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
