Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
